Crime Drama TV

Dear Networks,

You know I love you. You bring me my favorite shows, a welcome distraction from the stress of college, on a weekly basis. And in return I sit through dumb, unfunny commercials that most of the time make no sense whatsoever. But lately, something’s been bugging me and I just hae to get it off my chest.

Reruns and hiatuses.

Didn’t we just come off of winter hiatus? And now you want me to wait three more weeks for new episodes of Bones? And what for? American Idol. I’ve got news for you, FOX; the only reason anyone watches American Idol anymore is to watch Simon Cowell be a dick and Paula Abdul sink to the lowest depths of drugged-out craziness.

And don’t think this is just about FOX, networks, oh no. Repeats of shows like CSI and Numb3rs leave me very little to write about. And it’s not cool at all.

Please stop. Or else I’m going to have to resort to watching the competition and their shiny new episodes of Psych.

With All My Tough Love,
Lindsay

Again, this episode (a friend of mine likes to refer to them as “eppesodes”) was a repeat. And what a terrifying episode it was. Instead of “Longshot”, I’m renaming this episode “The Birth of Liz”. Perhaps the most hated woman in the Numb3rs fandom (at least on the boards I visit) besides Amita.

Why do we hate Liz? Robin. Robin and Don were perfect for each other. They had awesome chemistry. And then Liz comes along. Liz with her all-over-Don-ness and her willing-to-sleep-with-him-even-though-she-didn’t-know-that-he-and-Robin-were-broken-up-ness.

Honestly? Liz has more chemistry with Colby than she does with Don. I accidentally typed “dies” there. Subconscious thinking? Yes.

Anyway, since I remembered this episode pretty well, I flipped over to USA and one of my favorite crime comedies, Psych, about an extremely observant guy pretending to be a psychic for the police department. It’s basically the James Roday and Dule Hill Acting Silly Hour. It’s good for a laugh if Numb3rs is a repeat.

Last night’s episode was a repeat, as was much of television programming. This episode a woman was strangled with a rosary and crucified in a church and the team unravels a love triangle between the woman, a car salesman, and a priest. The priest and the woman, who was pregnant, were in love. He was leaving the church for her and everything. The car salesman killed the woman, Charlie, in a jealous rage. Except, oops, the baby’s his.

I don’t know why, but for some reason my television wants me to see all my TV boyfriends in pain this week. Greg’s back in the field trying to work through the trauma of being beaten up by Kevin Federline and his posse in “Fannysmacking”. He still has huge bruises on his face, although I imagine the bruises to his ego and soul due to being beaten up by Fed-Ex are much larger. Oh sweetie, come here and let Lindsay make it better.

I wasn’t really impressed with this episode. The surprise ending of finding out the baby was the car salesman’s is extremely similar to “Feeling the Heat” and “Primum Non Nocere”.

That’s all I got. Numb3rs is a repeat tonight, but I’ll still be back with a recap on Monday.

This week the team is called to New Orleans (which JJ in all her Pennsylvania-girlness cannot pronounce properly) to investigate a series of murders that seem to mirror Jack the Ripper. Except the victims are male. Anyway, the lead detective on the case died in Katrina, but before he shuffled off this mortal coil, he had the time to carve “JONES” into the wall of his house. Now his son - who actually looks more strung out than Reid supposedly is - is heading the investigation. They eventually figure out that the killer is a woman luring men away with promises of sex and Jones is a bar where she was raped nine years ago.

This is the first time I’ve actually had several problems with the profile/actions of this killer. First, as they have mentioned several times on this show, blitz attacks show that the killer is insecure and cannot charm their victims into coming with them willingly. So I don’t see how the woman could have been confident enough to lure men away from the crowds. Second, the way the victims were killed. Garcia said that Jack the Ripper only ever removed a kidney from his victims, which isn’t true. He also removed the uterus. If the woman was indeed like Jack, she would in all likelihood castrate her victims to rob them of their masculinity as Jack removed his victims’ feminimity.

I’m really pissed off about this so called “resolution” to Reid’s drug storyline. “I’ll never miss a plane again”? THAT IS NOT A RESOLUTION TO ANYTHING. If Reid’s using the Dialudid as his friend Ethan made it seem (since we’ve never actually seen Boy Genius shoot up), that little discussion he had with Gideon isn’t going to do a damn thing.

And now I move to the shallow end. Let’s talk about hair. Yes, hair. I had a lot of issues with hair in this episode. Let’s start with the good. Is it bad that I absolutely LOVE Reid’s drug hair? It nearly doubles my urge to just hug him and pet him and feed him soup, poor thing.

Next, Prentiss. I actually liked her character in this episode, and I’m ashamed to admit that it had a lot to do with her hair. They curled it this episode and WOW, what an improvement. Let’s compare, shall we?

It’s like they’re two different people.Morticia Addams and Emily Prentiss.

And finally, the bad. JJ. Oh, JJ, I loved you this week but I have to ask; what is up with your hair? She seriously looks like she’s been standing in front of a fan and the hairspray in her hair stuck that way.

So that’s about it. No Bones this week because American Idol has once again taken over our televisions. Tomorrow: CSI.